My dad was an ardent supporter of the World Wildlife Fund - a memorial page has been set up in his honor. In lieu of flowers, if you are so inclined, please donate here.
Hi everyone,
Hi everyone,
As many of you already know, on September 12, 2015, my dad
passed away after a brief fight with cancer.
He died peacefully and surrounded by his family. He was 74
years old.
He is survived by his loving wife, his two children and their families, including his two young grandsons: Charles Peter and Sabas Pietro, both named after him and both of whom he loved very much.
Charlie and Sabas never got to know my dad, which is a shame because my dad was a good man and a great dad and he was on his way to being an awesome grandpa.
Charlie and Sabas never got to know my dad, which is a shame because my dad was a good man and a great dad and he was on his way to being an awesome grandpa.
Early Years
My dad & His Mom. 1942 |
My dad was born January 21, 1941 in Astoria queens. This is the earliest picture of him I can
find – it’s a picture of him and his mom from 1942, and on the back it says “Happy
Birthday Dad”, obviously referring to his father. It’s an adorable photo, and he really does
kind of resemble my son, Charlie in this picture, with his long blonde, wavy
hair. Speaking of 1941, I was the one to
drive him to the hospital on Wednesday Sept 9th. He was in good spirits, and we were chatting,
and I realized I wasn’t sure what year he was born. He told me, and I said, “Oh, like 10 months
before Pearl Harbor”, and he said, and I am not making this up – “About 320 days. You know how they say that Pearl Harbor was a
major defeat for the U.S. naval forces?
Not true.” At this point I thought
he was going to tell me about how the carriers were all out at sea, which I
know, because he’s told me this before ad
infinitum. Instead he said – “For
example, the USS Arizona was one of the only ships that couldn’t be salvaged,
but they still managed to salvage the guns from her! Can you believe that? They sank the ship, it’s sitting in the dock
all blown to hell, so what do we do? Go
get the guns, fix ‘em, and start shooting back!
No one ever stood a chance against the U.S.” This is the kind of stuff my dad will tell
you – minute crazy tidbits about some obscure fact that he knows. He has one of these for literally every topic
you can think of. At least in my whole
life he always had one.
My dad & his dad. 1950. The view was not as pretty as it looks, he wants you to know. |
The next picture of my dad, I absolutely love – it’s a picture
of him and his father looking out over the mountains of Italy in 1950, making
my dad 8 or so. The back of this picture
informs us that it was taken on Monte Camino (an important location in WWII, so
I later learned, again, from my dad) and it also tells us that my dad’s
sneakers were blue not black as they
are represented here – the photo was touched up by an artist. Also, the mountains, he wants you to know,
were devoid of vegetation, despite being nice and green in the artist’s
renditions. I think this is hilarious
because my dad obviously wrote this note much, much later in his life, and it
shows his dedication to detail, his impeccable memory, and fastidiousness – he wants
to inform us that the view was not as
pretty as it looks in this picture. Which
is just a very “my dad” thing to do.
The trip to Italy was my dad’s first trip outside the U.S., and it kicked
off his very long love-affair with world travel that he and my Mom (and now my
sister) share. I didn’t get that
love. At all. Really, my dad had three loves science, travel, and family. I’ll
touch on all three in a bit. But first, I find this picture of my dad on the left hilarious
– for some reason he was evidently rocking a crew cut sometime in the 50’s. It’s so odd.
I’ve never seen a picture of him with any haircut other than the wave he
had my whole life. I’m glad this phase passed.
Science & Tinkering
My dad's garage. Not a single video game. |
Before we get to travel, I want to touch on my dad’s love of
science, which is best summarized in one word: basement. Growing up, I always assumed everyone’s dad
had the most bizarre stuff you could imagine in their basement – when I learned
that other kids had ping-pong tables and video games in their basements, I
admit I felt a little cheated. For
example, this is the view of my dad's basement today (it has changed little in 30
years).
Yes. That’s a
pressurized air hose for cleaning cuttings off the tables that he built
himself. Why do you ask? Look- 1, 2, 3 lathes! 3! I’m
still not 100% sure what a lathe is, and my dad had 3!
3 lathes. What's a lathe? I am not sure. |
What did he do with all this stuff? He made things. Which I still think is so cool. He’d just go down there, tinker, and make
stuff. The first thing he made when he
got his first lathe was… a hammer. It
took him two weeks and probably $50 in raw material, but he made a little
hammer. In retrospect, that seems like a
lot of time and money to make something he already had 6 of, and is basically a
rock on a stick. But he made it! Then he became really into making pens and
mechanical pencils. For a while everyone
got a pen or a pencil for Christmas and birthdays. Or a salt and pepper shaker. If you didn’t want one of those things, well…
tough, you were getting one. Then he got
out of that pen/pencil mode for a while, and started making little decoy
ducks. There were wooden ducks
everywhere. Every time you’d go
downstairs you’d find another duck. And
then just like that, one day he stopped making ducks, and moved onto something
else.
The white box in the background is the seismograph (cover). The 386 in the front is the replacement for 4 Vic-20's. |
He was like that – he’d get so
into some technology or idea, get really good at it, and drop it once the
challenge was gone. Lasers. Home made steam engines. Crossword puzzles (NYT, diagram-less!). Programming.
Microwave communications. HAM
radio. His longest scientific interest
was actually in seismology – here’s his and, again, I am not kidding, home-made seismograph. Check out the new fancy 386 computer on the
right. That was his idea of “serious computing
power”.
Of all his creations, this one really held his interest for
a long time, and he really enjoyed working on it and talking seismology. Remember, he was an electrical engineer – but
by the end, he knew more about seismology than most of the seismologists he’d
interact with. That little thing records
pretty much every significant geological event on planet earth. No joke.
It used to be hooked up to 3 or 4 Vic-20’s (the pre-cursor to the
Commodore 64). He managed to do cluster
computing with 3 Vic-20’s back in the late 80’s, all written in BASIC, and
writing data to tape. Not fancy computer reels – tape, like audio
tape! I had no idea what was going on,
but I knew it was weird.
Diapers for me. Very funny. |
Back in high-school my friends and I used to go downstairs
and look at all this crazy stuff and wonder “what the hell is going on down here”. Here’s his whiteboard with a shopping list,
and some unfinished project ideas. Sometime
in a late high school or early college party my friends decided to have some
fun with it and write that they loved him, and that he needed to buy diapers
for me. Very funny. Except my dad never erased those parts of the
whiteboard! That was over 15 years ago,
and those jokes are still on that stupid whiteboard. Jokes on me, eh dad?
Here’s a picture of a calculator, a book of definite
integrals, and a bunch of math.
Just some light reading. |
My dad managed to get published a few times in his retirement
– each time he had the resulting article and check framed and they are hanging
around my house. One is an article on his somewhat long-lived hobby of night-time telescopic photography for Make Magazine – here’s a picture of his framed article from Make.
His night time photos showing a comet, and his personal hero - Dr. Einstein. |
Some of his nighttime photographs are really pretty
good. The one in the Make Magazine article is particularly nice. None of my pictures of them turned
out OK, but on the left there’s a picture of some of his pictures of what I assume is a comet,
next to his personal hero – Albert Einstein.
He really loved Einstein. In
fact, when we were going to the hospital he asked me to stop at home and pick
up some magazines for him, I gave in, because he seemed to be doing fine and was rather insistent. He specifically wanted a particular issue of
Scientific American because it had an article on Einstein he was eager to
finish. I found it and brought it with us, but he never did finish the article. He never even
opened the magazines at the hospital – he was always too tired. Eventually he asked me to take the magazines
home. He knew he’d never get to them,
and I think they made him depressed. It makes me
cry if I think about it too much.
One of the coolest things I found digging around down there
yesterday was this – these are blue prints for a homemade motorized sloth for my nephew! (My sister is oddly obsessed with sloths). Here’s the blue-prints. All designed by hand. No matter how you grew up, I guarantee that when you go home one of the last things you expect to find in your basement is hand-drawn blueprints for a mechanical sloth. This is as far as he got with this project. If he had only had a few more months, maybe....
Travel
At least his fascination with science and tinkering never
seriously inconvenienced anyone else.
Travel, on the other hand… My dad had his first trip overseas in 1950, and
everything was fine. He kept traveling
until 1977, when I was born, and suddenly this love of travel became my problem too. We traveled everywhere. Costa Rica, Ecuador, Galapagos Islands, Kenya,
Papua New Guinea, Morocco, etc. He went
even crazier places without me – Easter Island, for example. Ever seen someone’s travel photos from Easter
Island? It’s an exercise in repeating “Oh. A giant stone head.” 300 times. My dad loved photography, but across all
those trips, it’s hard to find pictures of the four of us all together, or even
pictures of anyone with my dad, since he was always holding the camera. But I found a few.
Here’s the four of us in Papua New Guinea – we thought it
would be hilarious to line up in height order with these statues. I’m not sure whose idea that was.
Below, left: the four of us outside the Nairobi Hilton. I was looking at this picture and laughing at my sister’s jumpsuit until
I noticed my own shorts. Jesus. Below, center: doing my dad’s other favorite
thing – eating. Below, right: better times in a pool. All of these are from
Kenya, circa 1986, I think.
Left: look at those shorts. Center: we've always been adventurous eaters. Right: Good times in a pool. |
Melville, my mom, and... well, read on. |
Science and travel, science and travel, that’s pretty much
all my dad ever wanted to talk about. Well,
that, and books – here’s his collection of Melville books. You may know Melville as that guy who wrote
Moby Dick. Well, to my dad he’s that guy
who wrote all these OTHER books, too, all of which he read, and marked with a
pencil. Many of Melville’s books deal
with the sea. My dad loved Melville so
much, he decided to learn to sail. That’s
probably the craziest thing I ever heard.
It’s the equivalent of loving Harry Potter so deciding to learn
Potions. But here he is – sailing! I actually love this picture of him. I like to think maybe Melville would have, too.
Oh, go back up and look at that picture of the Melville
books again. Two things – that’s my mom
looking very pretty on the right. (Hi
Mom!) But more importantly – I’ll give you a high five if you know what that
thing in the middle, blocking the bottom of the books is. Go
look. Give up? It’s a ceremonial penis shield from Papua New
Guinea. It’s like the weirdest thing in
my parents’ house by at least a factor of two.
My mom got my dad a “places visited” map for my Dad for his birthday or
Christmas a few years ago. Here it is
with the places he/we visited, and his favorite place is marked with a yellow
flag – Kenya. You’re supposed to mark
your next planned trip with a blue flag, but he must have lost the blue one. Instead the next planned trip is denoted by
the yellow flag all the way in the bottom of the picture – Antarctica. He always wanted to visit all 7 continents,
and Antarctica was last on the list. My
mom claims they got close enough when they went around Patagonia tagging penguins a few
years ago, but dad wasn’t convinced. He
started planning the trip about 6 or 7 months ago – it was all he could talk
about for a while. When he first got
sick that was his major concern – what about Antarctica? He had to cancel the trip a few weeks ago
once he was diagnosed. He thought maybe
he’d get better enough to travel again for a while, but it quickly became clear
that wouldn’t happen. There was just no
time.
Unfinished Business
I guess that’s it about my dad, really. I could go on for hundreds of pages about the
stuff we’ve done as a family. His favorite
comedians (Monty Python & Peter Sellers), favorite movies (007 – Sean Connery,
obviously), other books, the weird stuff we’ve seen and done together (tripping
on beetlenut in New Guinea, sleeping on roaches in Ecuador), etc.
But no matter how much we did, it wasn’t enough. Everything feels unfinished. Like the trip to Antarctica, or the article on
Einstein, or the sloth blueprints.
A few days ago I came back to New Jersey to see my dad and maybe help out around the house, but when I went to pick him up from the Doctor she said I had to take him to the hospital. I never got to see him in the house or in his basement again.
I got to hold his hand when he passed, and I told him it was OK, that he could go, but that wasn’t really true – it was too early. It was too sudden. It was too fast. It seems like one minute we were swimming in a pool in Nairobi, and the next day he was in Palliative care.
A few days ago I came back to New Jersey to see my dad and maybe help out around the house, but when I went to pick him up from the Doctor she said I had to take him to the hospital. I never got to see him in the house or in his basement again.
I got to hold his hand when he passed, and I told him it was OK, that he could go, but that wasn’t really true – it was too early. It was too sudden. It was too fast. It seems like one minute we were swimming in a pool in Nairobi, and the next day he was in Palliative care.
So, on September 12, 2015, Pete Torrione Sr. passed away after a brief fight with cancer. He died peacefully and surrounded by his family. He was 74 years old.
My nephew Sabas is only 5 months old. My son Charlie isn’t quite 2. They’ll never know their grandpa Pete. Not really. Not like we did. Maybe this document will help them know him a little one day. I hope so.
In
a slightly different world my dad would be planning that trip to Antarctica, and we'd be dreading looking at 300 pictures of... snow. And his
grand-kids would get to hear all about it (probably ad infinitum). There would be a mechanical sloth slowly crawling around in Sabas' room, and a refurbished rocking horse in Charlie's. I told my dad I loved him all the time, and he always said it back. But I could have said a lot more. I kind of wish I had. Because now that he’s gone, there’s a lot of raising of Charlie and Sabas left to do, and I really wish he’d be
here to see a little more of it. We
could really use his help.
Dad & Charlie. About a year ago. |
Dad & Sabas. A few weeks ago. |
Better times. Montauk, NY (?) |
My dad was an ardent supporter of the World Wildlife Fund - a memorial page has been set up in his honor. In lieu of flowers, if you are so inclined, please donate here.
Ah, Petey. This made me cry. Thanks for this. I think that it wasn't that everything was unfinished; instead, it was that he achieve mastery over the craft to his own personal satisfaction, then moved to the next challenge. Your father was a brilliant man. Again, thanks for this. Be good, as I've heard you say before. Be good.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you should finish the motorized sloth in tribute to his memory.
Hey Pete,
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family have my deepest condolences. Although I never had the opportunity to meet him, from your beautiful, heartfelt, rememberance here he was obviously an interesting guy. Glad you have so many great memories of him, and that you were able to spend time with him at the end. Take care.
-Steve
p.s. Knowing a little bit about woodworking (and actually having moments of being lathe-curious), lathes are like any typical male collecting pursuit. You buy one, it works alright but if only you had the next bigger one...until you find yourself doing this. https://s3.amazonaws.com/lumberjocks.com/lv6bk29.jpg
I love you so much Petey. This is beautiful and perfect for Daddy. - Kriss (on dad's computer)
ReplyDeleteOh Petie what a heartfelt tribute about your dad. I'm writing this with tears pouring out of me. Yes, he was a great man but I feel his biggest contributions are you and Kriss. The admiration that you shared for your father shows that. Ev, my heartfelt condolences to you as well. Charlie and Sabas will know your father though you and Kriss and that is a beautiful thing. We love you!
ReplyDeleteFrom Grandma Cookie and Poppy. We thought this was a very touching tribute to your father, Petie. Our son Dave read the tribute to us and it touched him also. Petie you should consider finishing the projects for the grandsons. Our love to the whole family.
ReplyDeleteWhat an extraordinary tribute. How much you teach us about your dad. Thank you. And I'm so sorry. I was lucky to have known your dad. (Karen Markoe's daughter.)
ReplyDeleteFrom Grandmother Barbara What a wonderful tribute to your Father. Really wish I had met him, sounds like a wonderful family man and a most interesting person. A great legacy to leave for the family, especially the grandchildren. Wouldn't it be a great world if more people were like him? A curious mind is a wonderful trait and it looks like it's in the genes for Pete and Charlie. I only mention them because I don't know the rest of your family.Well done Pete, our memories are not only comforting but make us who we are. A tribute that I'm sure would make your Father proud.Thanks for sharing your memories and thoughts.
ReplyDeletePeter/Kristin - this is Jennie Park (from Windsor Court in Norwood). Sung-Hee shared the news with me last week, and I meant to comment then. This tribute was so beautiful. I was moved to tears as I remembered what your dad would always say to us if/when he dropped the 3 of us (Kris, Sung-Hee, and me) off at school: "Achieve! Achieve! Achieve!" I hope your family is doing as well as you can today. XOXO
ReplyDeleteYou are so sweet Jennie, thank you for thinking of us! I hope you are well!
DeleteThank you for sharing these wonderful memories about your dad- his interests and hobbies, travels with your family, his fervent curiosity.
ReplyDeleteYour dad always talked about you and Kriss with unmistakeable love and pride. He was eager to ask my sister and I about our lives and to fill us in about you and Kriss and later, about both of your families and about becoming a grandpa.
Pete's intelligence was matched by his warmth- a disarming sweetness that put people at ease. We are grateful for the long and strong friendship between our parents. I know Pete will be missed by many and remembered with admiration. Please accept our deepest condolences. Love to you, your mom, Kriss and your families.
Nancy and Brendan
(Nancy, daughter of Karen and Arnie)
Sorry to hear that your Dad passed away. I knew him well from his days as Director of Systems Engineering at ITT Defense. He was a great guy and a true professional.
ReplyDeleteOne anecdote that you probably didn't know was that he was the local expert on ITT's retirement plan. It was also one of his favorite topics of conversation at work. If anyone ever had a question about retirement, we'd tell them to go see Pete. I even still have a copy of an elaborate hand-written table that he prepared many years ago that simply described the many retirement options. He was equally conversant in other financial planning matters.
My sympathies to the entire Torrione family. Pete will be missed!
I was just reading through these posts and I wanted to mention that after going through my Dad's paperwork we did indeed find his hand-written ITT retirement plans! He loved is graph paper!
DeleteJust a tad older than Steve Kalish, I worked with Pete while he actually engineered systems without the headache of directing engineers. He oversaw top-level design of several of my projects at ITT, and over two decades we shared dozens of meals and trips. No comments necessary concerning his scientific acumen, but so much more than that, he was a wonderful person – what members of my tribe call a mensch. Outside the office, no black hole of technical jargon; he would discourse on any number of diverse topics – his globe-trotting, his kids, food, photography... Discussing my own travel bores me, but he could make a walk around the block sound compelling. He took me to some strange places to eat weird foods I couldn't pronounce (nor in some cases swallow). Am watching the Mets win as I type this, but despite Tom Hanks' admonition, tears cascade – just as they did when I heard the sad news, when I read Pete Jr's tribute, and when I told my wife Vivian. A tribute made more impressive by its lack of mention of ITT; Pete’s life was as all should be: about family – not work. He was one of the truly unforgettable characters I’ve met in my life; and I’ll miss his remarkable smile.
ReplyDelete